ShutUpdate

A cornucopia of embarrassing Facebook status updates and shameful tweets

Sell out your idiot friends (and yourself!) Send the goods to shutupdate at gmail dot com.

Aug 14

Matthew

is recovering from a visit by the fisting fairy.

Posted at 8:28pm

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Aug 11

Ca$e

is in FUCKING HEAVEN, D Wright with the walkoff, Jets get Brett, got my money right and its goin down 2morow nite Beer Gardens bitches see me in da trrraaappppp.

Posted at 12:00am

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Aug 10

Lisa

is riding a magical horse in the pool!

Posted at 11:58pm

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Belle

is thinking that the US Olympics team should really have worn the winning Project Runway outfit for the Opening Ceremony.

Posted at 11:57pm

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Robert

is easy like a Sunday evening.

Posted at 11:56pm

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Emily

is sick & tired of being useless.

Posted at 11:55pm

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Zlata

thinks that subconsciously, more people will be ordering chinese food for dinner over the next three weeks. word.

Posted at 11:55pm

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Andrew

says “who drove over my grill!”

Posted at 11:52pm

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David

is under umbrella, umbrella of protection, protective umbrella.

Posted at 11:51pm

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Jenny

is under umbrella, umbrella of protection, protective umbrella.

Posted at 11:51pm

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